Last Update On November 26, 2012
Rippism - The Birth Of A New Barbell Nation
Rippism is a new movement in the training world which was started a few years ago. In a nutshell Rippism is a black iron barbell church made in the name of the great Mr. Rippetoe who has answer for everything regarding movement of iron or anything else.
How do you become a Rippism disciple?
To become a Ripptoist you have to be over 200lbs and you should squat with barbell low on your back. A typical Ripptoist wannabe will have to consume a gallon of full milk for a total of 6 000 calories a day in order to become fat enough and over 200lbs. It's not important if the gained weight is fat because when you become Ripptoist fat turns to muscle. Also Ripptoists tend to suffer from a rare illness known as IDMDBFM. (I don't make difference between fat and muscle).
What happens to people who do not squat? Can they be Ripptoists?
No. Non-squatter can never be a Ripptoist - not even in his/her sleep. If you are not squatting you are not Ripptoizing either.
How should a true Ripptoist behave?
A true Rippism disciple should be at least 20% BF and should squat heavy as often as possible. As a Ripptoist when you squat heavy you are giving sacrifice to your leader - Mr. Rippetoe.
How do you recognize a Ripptoist?
A typical Ripptoist has a fat gluteus maximus and a big gut. However the only way to know somebody is Ripptoist is to see him/her squat with the bar low on the back and the hips high in the air. Also a true Ripptoist never does above five reps because Rippism has accepted 5 as the perfect number. After 5 reps you become a bodybuilder.
Can you show me some pictures of Ripptoists?
Zack Evetts is the first Ripptoist made by Rippetoe himself. Peace.
Young male Ripptoist wannabe suffering from IDMDBFM.
Young man trying hard to be a Ripptoist.
Can you take steroids if you are a Ripptoist?
Technically you can take steroids because Rippetoe himself has taken them. However the most important thing is that you drink your milk. Rippetoe has estimated that drinking milk works better than injecting testosterone which is the hormone responsible for muscle growth and strength. Some people have tried even injecting milk in their gluteus maximus. However Rippism does not support similar behavior. Drink your milk.
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/Mark Rippetoe, Godfather of Ripptoism, Like a Boss/
