
written by Danny G.
Let me tell you something about biking and life: they both find your weaknesses.
A 50-mile ride isn’t just a test of your legs or your lungs—it’s a gamble with fate on two skinny tires. Flat? Blowout? Chain snaps like an overworked landlord’s patience?
Yeah, you’ll get to know Murphy’s Law real quick out there. I used to be like you—riding blissfully, carrying nothing, and banking on the ol’ call the wife plan. But let me ask you this: how many times can you call her before she starts leaving your number on “ignore”?
You need to be ready for the road. Not because it’s easy, but because it’s hard—and beautiful—and it doesn’t give a damn about your excuses.
So, here’s the list. Not because I like rules, but because sometimes you need to pack a lifeboat before the ship sinks.
The 10 Essentials and How to Carry Them
1. Spare Tube
Your tire’s gonna blow one day—it’s not “if,” it’s “when.” And when it happens, that spare tube is the difference between riding back proud and walking back embarrassed, bike in hand like some sad metal donkey.
- How to carry it: Roll it tight, like your last five-dollar bill, and shove it in a saddlebag. Or better yet, in a jersey pocket if you don’t trust bags.
2. Tire Levers
Ever try prying a tire off a rim with your bare hands? It’s like arguing with a drunk—it doesn’t end well. These little hunks of plastic make the job bearable.
- How to carry it: Saddlebag. Keep them close, keep them light.
3. CO2 Inflator or Frame Pump
CO2 cartridges are like old flames—fast, exciting, but likely to leave you stranded if you’re not careful. A frame pump? That’s the dependable friend who’s always there, even if they’re slower than molasses on a cold day.
- How to carry it: CO2 in the saddlebag. A pump clips onto your frame like a shy barnacle.
4. Multi-Tool
This is your Swiss Army knife for the apocalypse. Screws, bolts, chains—it fixes ‘em all. Without one, you’re just a spectator in your own mechanical tragedy.
- How to carry it: Saddlebag or jersey pocket. Pick one with a chain breaker because fate loves a broken chain.
5. Patch Kit
A spare tube can save you once, but a patch kit? That’s your insurance policy when the second flat comes calling like a vengeful ex.
- How to carry it: It’s tiny and humble, so slip it into the saddlebag.
6. Quick Links
Your chain doesn’t care about your plans. Snap. There goes the ride. A quick link snaps it back together so you can keep rolling.
- How to carry it: Taped to your frame or stuffed in your multi-tool pouch. Small, but mighty.
7. Water Bottles (x2)
Water is life, especially when your legs start to feel like concrete at mile 42. Forget to hydrate, and you’ll start seeing mirages of air-conditioned cars.
- How to carry it: Two cages on your frame. Pro tip: Fill one bottle with electrolyte mix—it’s like crack for your legs.
8. Snacks
Don’t bring fancy stuff. Bring what works: gels, bars, or the good ol’ PB&J. You’ll need it when your stomach starts growling louder than your chain.
- How to carry it: Jersey pocket or top-tube bag. Accessible, because hunger waits for no one.
9. Phone, ID, and Cash
This isn’t just for emergencies. It’s also for coffee stops, bribing gas station clerks, or calling your wife when the day eats you alive.
- How to carry it: Waterproof bag in your jersey pocket. Keep it safe, keep it dry.
10. Sunscreen and Lip Balm
You ever finish a ride looking like you spent the day inside a pizza oven? Protect your skin. Because, spoiler alert: no one looks cool with blistered lips.
- How to carry it: Tiny tube in your jersey pocket. You’ll thank me later.
Packing It All Together
So now you’ve got the gear, but how do you haul it without feeling like a pack mule? This is where organization saves your sorry backside.
Table 1: Packing Breakdown
Item | Carrying Method | Tips |
---|---|---|
Spare tube | Saddlebag | Roll tight, secure with a rubber band. |
Tire levers | Saddlebag | Lightweight and compact. |
CO2 inflator/frame pump | Saddlebag or frame mount | Practice CO2 use before the ride or you risk blowing it… |
Multi-tool | Saddlebag or jersey pocket | Look for one with a chain tool. |
Patch kit | Saddlebag | Essential when you burn through spares. |
Quick links | Taped to frame | Tiny lifesavers for chain breaks. |
Water bottles | Frame cages | Refill whenever you can. |
Snacks | Jersey pocket | Mix carbs and salt—your legs need both. |
Phone, ID, cash | Jersey pocket | Waterproof case. Trust me. |
Sunscreen, lip balm | Jersey pocket | Reapply when the sun mocks your ambition. |
Closing Thoughts
Riding 50 miles isn’t about glory. It’s about survival with style. You can roll in as a prepared hero or limp back as the guy who didn’t even pack a tube. Life, like cycling, rewards the prepared and punishes the lazy. So pack your bag, practice your flats, and face that road like the gritty, determined, sunburned champion you are. And if all else fails? Yeah, maybe call the wife. But just once, okay?
Ride on.
Danny G.
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