Expectations From Your First Criterium (Mental Preparedness)

I don’t remember much from my first criterium. Mostly pain. Some blurred wheels. A deep, burning hatred for the guy who cut me off in the second lap.

And a moment of brief clarity when I realized I’d rather be drinking beer in a dive bar than gasping for air in a pack of jittery, overcaffeinated lunatics.

But here we are.

If you’re about to race your first crit, you’re probably asking yourself: Will I survive? Will I get dropped? Will I finish? Will my bike betray me? Will I wake up tomorrow regretting every life choice that led me here?

Yes. To all of the above.

But don’t worry, kid. You’ll learn a lot.

Here’s what you need to know about your first criterium, mentally speaking.

1. Accept That You Will Suffer

This isn’t a scenic group ride. It’s not a fondo where you stop for coffee at the halfway mark. It’s a knife fight in a washing machine. And you? You’re the new guy.

The moment that whistle blows, your heart rate will spike, your legs will scream, and you’ll be questioning everything. But here’s the thing: everyone else is suffering too. Even the guy at the front who looks like he was born on a saddle. The difference? He knows how to hide it.

So embrace the pain. It’s your new best friend.

2. Positioning Is Everything

You don’t need to be the strongest rider. You just need to be the smartest.

You see that poor soul dangling off the back? He’s working twice as hard as the guys tucked in the middle. Stay in the draft. Hold your line. And for the love of all things holy, don’t be the guy who gaps the group.

3. Expect the Unexpected (Like Crashes and Cats)

Someone will crash. Maybe you. Maybe the guy next to you. Maybe a giant ginger cat will wander onto the course and take out half the field.

Be prepared. Keep your head on a swivel. Don’t make sudden movements. And if you hear screeching metal behind you, don’t look back. Just keep pedaling.

4. The Surges Will Kill You (If You Let Them)

Crit racing isn’t steady. It’s a series of brutal accelerations followed by moments of panic. If you’re not ready for it, you’ll get spit out the back faster than last night’s bad takeout.

When the pace picks up, go with it. Don’t hesitate. The moment you hesitate, you’re dead.

5. It’s All About the Last 200 Meters

It doesn’t matter how strong you feel at the halfway mark. It doesn’t matter if you were sitting pretty in the top five the entire race. If you don’t have the legs for that final sprint, none of it matters.

Save something for the end. Because that’s where the real race starts.

6. There’s No Shame in Getting Dropped (But It Sucks Anyway)

At some point, you might get dropped. It happens. The good news? It only feels like your entire soul is being crushed. The bad news? It won’t be the last time.

Take it as a lesson. Work on your fitness. And next time, hang on a little longer.

7. Finishing Is a Win (Even If You’re Last)

Most people don’t finish their first crit. They crash, they get dropped, they pull out when their ego can’t take it anymore. If you cross that finish line—doesn’t matter if you’re first, last, or somewhere in between—you’ve done better than most.

And that’s something.

Summary Table

Expectation	Reality Check
You think you’re fit	You’re not fit enough
Positioning doesn’t matter	It’s the only thing that matters
The race will be steady	It will be a chaotic mess
You’ll have time to think	No, you won’t
The last sprint isn’t important	It’s the only thing that’s important
Crashes are rare	Crashes are common
You won’t get dropped	You might. Accept it.

Final Thoughts

Your first criterium will humble you. It will hurt. It will make you question everything.

But if you survive—if you drag your exhausted body over the finish line, lungs on fire, legs screaming—you’ll understand why people keep coming back.

And then, just when you think you’ve had enough…

You’ll sign up for another one.